scraps to the Savior

IMG_1044I’m baaaaaaaacccckkkkkk and ready to share with you all about my most recent ‘hit with a brick’ moment.

How do you feel about leftover food?

I can’t eat leftover food. Unless it is pizza or Cracker Barrel buttermilk pancakes, I cannot bring myself to eat it. It is just not the real deal. It is not fresh. It is not what I paid for.

And even if some of you don’t mind eating leftover food, you have to at least agree with me when I say fresh food is the best food. Can I get an amen?

Now, I want you to imagine going to your most favorite restaurant ever. And I want you to imagine that money is not an issue. You have all the money in the world so you go ahead and spend a fortune or two and order whatever you like, how much ever you like, and for as long as you like. Okay, this is starting to make me hungry… yum, right?

And then imagine you are sitting there waiting for all of this delicious, mouth watering, bought with a price food and then… BOOM. The waiter brings out the food and you realize that it is yesterdays leftovers.

Nothing fresh. Not even warm. Not even a full serving of what you ordered. What the what!

How disappointing would that be? Would you be angry? Would you demand your money back? Or would you demand fresher food? Uh, yeah, I would definitely struggle with being slow to anger and slow to speak in that situation.

Okay, now that we are all hangry, let’s cut to the chase.

This is the same thing that I struggle with on a daily basis.

I am guilty of being the waiter. God is giving His very best, His Son, to die for us. Paying the ultimate price for us so that I can walk in freedom and live in eternity with Him. And what do I do? Serve Him my leftovers. I use all of my energy and time on distractions and worldly things leaving nothing but an empty prayer and a quick skim through the Word as my act of worship towards the One who Saved me from an eternity in Hell.

I am currently reading the book ‘Crazy Love’ by Francis Chan and in it, Chan refers to Malachi 1:8. “But when you present the blind for sacrifice, is it not evil? And when you present the lame and sick, is it not evil? Why not offer it to your governor? Would he be pleased with you? Or would he receive you kindly?” says the Lord.

Chan continues to comment on this verse saying, ” Leftovers are not merely inadequate; from God’s point of view…they’re evil. Let’s stop calling it “a busy schedule” or “bills” or forgetfulness”. It is called evil. God is holy. In heaven exists a Being who decides whether or not I take another breath. This holy God deserves excellence, the very best I have.”

Wow! Tough stuff, but good stuff, am I right?

God deserves your very best. He does not deserve your leftovers. They are evil. He doesn’t want your leftovers. He wants all of you. The very best that you have to offer. The firsts of your mornings and the lasts of your nights. Everyday. You and Him. Forever.

And lucky for us that when we do get distracted that His grace and forgiveness covers all of that!!! He looks at our leftovers and loves us anyway!!!! He chooses everyday to pursue us even when all we have to give is scraps. What a motivator to not get comfortable with serving Him almost nothing.

Scripture tells us in Mark 12:30 that we are to “Love the Lord our God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” It is time we do that.

How do we do that? Get motivated. Stay in His Word. Stay in fellowship with other believers to help motivate you. Stay in communication with Him. Cut out distractions. Take the idols in your life that you are giving your all to and get rid of them.

Can I challenge you today? How will you choose to serve the Savior right now? How will you choose to serve the Savior while you’re at work? While you’re at school? While you’re at home with the kids and doing laundry? Don’t give Him your leftovers when He demands and deserves your all, everyday. He wants you. He pursues you. What are you waiting for? Give Him your all today.

Father God,

Don’t let me get used to giving you leftovers. You have served me Your very best by giving me Your Son to save me from my sins. Help me to give my all back to You.  Lord, I am so thankful that your grace is like an ocean. Help me to understand and accept your forgiveness when I do serve You leftovers. Help me to have motivation and conviction so that I can give You my all. You are the breath in my lungs, Lord. Help me use that breath for your good and glory.

Because of Him,

Krystin Howard

P.S. I am praying for whoever is reading this and for the things that Satan is throwing your way right now. If there is something specific in your life that you need help lifting to the Throne, I’m on it. Leave a comment/message. Or call me, beep me, you know where to reach me.

P.P.S. If you haven’t read ‘Crazy Love’ by Francis Chan, I HIGHLY recommend it. It is packed full of wisdom and God’s truth and hits you right where you least expect it but need it most.

 

 

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grace & glory

img_0904
Do me a favor.

Imagine a ton of bricks.

Now imagine a ton of bricks with an elephant on top of them.

Now imagine that elephant on top of a ton of bricks on top of my head.

That, my friends, is what this lesson from the Lord felt like. Heavy, hurtful, and oh boy you betcha it stepped on my toes. So here I am, to share it with you because maybe you need to get stepped on too.

I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to approach this topic but chickened out. I have been fighting with listening to the devil about writing this post. But luckily for you and I, Christ has defeated the devil and Christ has called me to write this so here I am sharing it with you people 🙂

A while ago, I started wrestling with this thought that people are getting crazy and this world is getting crazier. And when I say people, yes I mean non-Christ followers. But I also mean Christ followers. Us Christians, myself included, are getting crazy. And this craziness has to stop.

When I first started pondering with this thought that Christians are not living the way they are called to live, I really did not put myself into that category too. And then yes…you probably guessed it…Jesus said “yo Krystin, remove that plank from your eye, fool. You need to get your act together too.” You know the drill…cue the dropping of the second load of bricks.

So, I surrendered my plank to Him, let Him tell me what I need to hear, let Him tell me what I need to do about it, and here I am reporting back what I have heard and learned.

For Christ followers, we are COMMANDED to live a life that is separate from this world. Key word: commanded. It is not optional. Somehow we, myself included, have gotten this idea in our heads that we can pick and choose what is okay and what is not okay. Um, no. It doesn’t work like that. He commands us to live sacrificially, giving up the “good things” that we think this world has to offer. He commands us to live for Him and only for Him. His way or the highway, there is no in-between. Black and red ink on white paper. No gray lines.

To say on Sunday, “I’m with you, Lord” but then gossip to a friend “I hate her” is not okay. To say “I trust your plan Lord” and then go about things your way is not okay. To sing praise songs at campus worship on Wednesday night and then knowingly let words of vulgarity come out of the same mouth the very next day is not okay. To say on Sunday, “I will follow you Christ” and then to say on Thursday night “Let’s go out, get drunk, and get our party on” is not okay. Once you have chosen to follow Christ and the cross you have chosen to live a life apart from the things this world offers. And He expects nothing less than this.

No, it will not be easy. But it is a command. And if you and I are not doing anything to attempt to correct this pattern of sin, there will be consequences. God tells us in Hebrews chapter 10 verses 26-27, “For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgement, and a fury of fire that will consume the adversaries.” If you have received His truth and His grace, you and I need to get back on track with the Lord. Surrender our sins to Him, ask for His help, ask for accountability from those around us. Christ has died for our sins and defeated death for you and I. If you accept that and you proclaim that, then it is time we start living like we do. He deserves all the glory we could give Him and so much more. The least we can do is start acting like what we are proclaiming.

I know this is harsh and not what you or anyone wants to hear. But sometimes, God’s word hurts and is offensive.

BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS…we have got a grace giving God. He extends so much grace and mercy and love to us sinners, it is incomprehensible. So once we make the decision to follow, proclaim, and be loved by Him, we no longer have to worry about the things we have done in the past. Repentance and forgiveness is such a beautiful thing. But once we make the decision to follow Him, we HAVE to do everything we can to bring glory to Him with our thoughts and actions. We cannot keep living a life of sin and not strive to get out of it. Grace extended to us calls for all glory to be given to Him who deserves it far more than we deserved grace. And besides, living for Him can only mean great things. His way is higher, better, and far greater than our way. So just accept His grace, start living to glorify Him, and do it His way.

Grace given = glory to the Grace Giver

****Please, please know that I am not judging you or trying to in any way. And please, please know that I have very much taken a hit from the Lord about this very same topic and every time I say “you” I mean me also. I love you people and so very grateful for each of you. Just know that this is what the Lord has laid on my heart to share with all of you. ****

Lord,

You are a good, good Father. You have sent your Son to die for me, someone who is so full of darkness and sin. You have forgiven me of my sins, shown me mercy, filled me with grace unmeasurable, and loved me incomprehensibly. I have failed you repeatedly and yet, You are always there. Fill me with your light, Lord. Give me the strength to push away my sins and the devil and pursue You and only things that bring You glory. Help me to get past this sin, this darkness, this world and push through to seek You. You deserve all my praise Lord. Help me to understand that You expect more from me always. By Your grace I am here and by Your grace I will carry on.

Because of Him,

Krystin Howard

Romans 3:23; John 3:16; Titus 2:11; Romans 12:1-2; Hebrews 10: 26-27; 1 Peter 1:14-16; 1 Peter 4: 3-5; Jude 1: 17-23; Revelation 3:22

p.s.  If you are not a Christ follower, my ears and heart are more than open and willing to talk to you. If you are confused, offended, or would like to know more ( I can’t promise I’ll have all the answers, still learning here 😉 )…call me, beep me, you know where to reach me.

dare to wait AND work

IMG_6029This topic is such a struggle for me to write openly about because it hits me hard at my heart. But I am praying that my vulnerability through this post would serve as a light and reminder that waiting can become an  action if we let God use us to His fullest and according to His plan.

One of my greatest desires is to have someone to share and walk through this life and all of its adventures with. In this way, I came to the realization that I am the only one who will ever know and experience everything that I go through. While I know that the Lord is with me always,  I want someone to physically walk through those experiences with me. Consequently, one of my greatest fears is that because this is something that I desire very much that it is something that I will not get to have. And because this is something that I desire so greatly, Christ has been constantly showing me how my desire may not be something that aligns with His plan or His timing. Let’s just say that this has lead to several heavy bricks to the head. Here are two very heavy bricks that the Lord has laid on my heart and head…

First hit with a brick moment: I should not put myself into a relationship just to satisfy my longing for companionship. I do not want to be in a relationship with the wrong guy when God’s guy shows up. I need to wait for the Lord to lead me to His guy. This waiting season is so much more than just hoping the wrong guy will come along. It means that I need to have complete faith that the Lord knows best for my future and has the most perfect timing. That was a hard one to swallow especially when it seems like everyone is falling in love, getting engaged, or exchanging vows.

Second hit with a brick moment: Waiting for the Lord isn’t all I need to do. I am also called to work for the Lord. Actively waiting. There are people that need to be loved on. Disciples that need to be made. Light that needs to be shared. Relationships that need to be built. This is no time to just sit around and wait for a guy to bring me flowers and take me to a movie. I have been called to serve in far greater ways and because of Christ and His sacrifice, that is what I must do.

I need to constantly be seeking out the Lord so that He can use me to my absolute fullest as a single adult and He sees a need and further calls me to be used as a unit in a relationship with a man. I am praying and learning that the Lord would use me until He has no more use for me in my singleness and needs me to be a part of a relationship with a man in order to be used even more and bring glory to Him even more. 

But until then, I am to be actively waiting. Making disciples. Loving on people well. Being intentional in all things. Sharing the gospel to any and all.

May I challenge you? We have been created for so much more than to just sit around and wait. I know that waiting and working are not going to be easy. Scripture tells us that.  But yet, we as Christ followers are called to it. So what will it be? Will you just wait? Or will you dare to wait AND work for the Lord?

Psalm 27:13-14; Proverbs 3:5-6; Lamentations 3:25; Colossians 3:23; Matthew 28:19-20; John 15:16; Mark 16:15 ; Psalm 116:2

Because of Him,

Krystin Howard

 

 

Comfortable with the Uncomfortable

FullSizeRender 3Just like that, my freshman year of college is over.

I can remember the days that led to me moving away to Birmingham, Alabama. I can remember all the tears that were shed as I said my goodbyes, packed my bags, and feared all the new and uncomfortable things that laid ahead of me.

I can remember the awkwardness I felt when meeting new people. I can remember the same answers being repeated to the same questions that were asked. “Yes, my name is Krystin Howard, I am from Tennessee, I am a pre-pharmacy major, and I will probably be the most awkward person you’ve met thus far. Oh and also, would you want to be my new friend?”.

I can remember the fear of being alone, the fear of not knowing what my classes would be like, and the fear of missing my home too much.

However, I would not trade my first year of college at Samford University for anything. If I had to choose one thing that I thought God was teaching me throughout the last year it would be this: get comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Yes, I remember the tears shed when I had to leave behind friendships that started in the 2nd grade. So uncomfortable. Yes, I remember the awkwardness of starting new conversations with people from all over. So uncomfortable. Yet, without the uncomfortable, I wouldn’t have met forever friends like my Ally girl, my Anna banana, my Queen B, my sweet Lexi, my Phi Mu sisters, and my Mexican Monday loving home groupers.

Yes, I remember the fear of moving hours away from my sissies, my parents, my family, and my home. So uncomfortable. Yet, without the uncomfortable, I wouldn’t have learned how to take care of myself when you come down with strep throat, learn how to manage your time on your own, and learn to take advantage of all the moments you do get to spend with your family.

Yes, I remember the fear of having to leave behind the church, mentors, and accountability partners I grew up in and around. So uncomfortable. Yet, without the uncomfortable, I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to explore and find a new church, learn from new accountability partners, and be surrounded by new Christ-followers who quickly become models of what and who you want to be like.

Yes, I remember the fear of not knowing what my classes would be like. So uncomfortable. Yet, without the uncomfortable, I wouldn’t have learned to study like I have been called to, build lasting relationships with the friendliest professors, and really dig into and be a part of learning more about God’s creation.

For the past year, I have been drowning in the uncomfortable. But as my first year is wrapped up, I have learned that I would not be where I am today if God had not called me outside my comfy zone. He has called me to trust in Him and not the familiar things of life. He has called me to get a little comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Friendships were formed, lessons were learned, tears were cried, and bellies were hurt with laughter. God grew me, changed me, scolded me, loved me, and carried me.  It’s been real, freshman year.

Lord,

You’ve pushed me past my comfortable and made me learn to love the uncomfortable. I am so thankful for that. I am so thankful for my freshman year of college and Your hand that held me together through it all. I am so thankful for all my old and new relationships. I am so thankful for the tears, the laughter, and the bricks to the head. Because of You, I am a new person and also because of You, I am continually being molded into the person You call me to be. I owe my all to You.

Because of Him,

Krystin Howard

 

Listen, My child

BeStillIt’s my second day of classes since spring break ended. I’ve got two exams, a four page paper, and a presentation all coming up within the next week. Just when I finally caught my breath, I lost it again.

Within the first few days back, I have been hit with several bricks to the head. One of these bricks made me realize that I’ve got two voices talking to me constantly. It almost reminds me of the little devil on one shoulder and the little angel on my other shoulder. Here’s what I have heard so far…

My planner is telling me that my next few weeks will be stressful and busy. My Jesus is telling me “Be still, my child, and know that I am God.”

My brain is telling me “sleep is for the dead”. My Jesus is telling me “rest in Me all who are weary and burdened”.

My professors are piling up the work to the already heavy load. My Jesus is carrying the load for me.

My grades go through a continuous fluctuating cycle of up, down, up, and then down again. My Jesus offers me His constant hand through it all.

My brain is telling me “Krystin, I do not know if you are capable of graduating with this degree”. My Jesus is telling me “My will for your life will be accomplished through Me only”.

My world is telling me “You have to look like you have it all together”. My Jesus is telling me “I will hold you together”.

My heart is telling me “Krystin, you are probably going to be single for life”. My Jesus is telling me “Single or married, I will never leave you”.

Society is telling me “Suck it in, put some make up on, and show them pearly whites”. My Jesus is telling me “You are altogether beautiful, my darling, there is no flaw in you”.

It can seem so easy to fall into the pattern of listening to the world and I will admit, I have succumbed to that many times. But the way I see it now is that I have been presented with a choice.

Will I continue to listen to the screams of the world or try to quiet out the world to hear the whispers of my Lord?

Who will you listen to?

Lord,

Help me to hear your whisper through the screaming of the world. Help me to see that You satisfy all my needs and will take care of the rest. I praise You and thank You for carrying me through this crazy world of darkness. Thank you for all of the bricks You hit me with. I choose to listen to You. Bring on the whispers.

Because of Him,

Krystin Howard

Psalm 46:10, Song of Solomon 4:7, Matthew 11:28, Deuteronomy 31:6

 

 

Full

Full“…and I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses all knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure  of all the fulness of God.” Ephesians 3:17-19

 

Have you ever gone through what felt like a dry season of faith? You are not alone, my friend.

I will admit that over the past few weeks I have encountered a dry season of faith. And I could not get over it. I tried everything. I read my Bible, I prayed, I sang songs of worship, I watched videos of evangelist preachers. I tried it all. But I was not growing. My heart was not changing. My relationship with Christ was not deepening. And after having several months of obvious growth, change, and deepening of my relationship with Christ, these dry few weeks were killing me.

I thought to myself, “What is going on?  Why are you not talking to me God? I am trying to grow and learn from You but You are showing me nothing. What more can I do?”

And then you could probably guess what happened next.

Jesus hit me with a ton of bricks.

After several weeks in this dry season went by and I came home for spring break, my mom asked me the very simple question while we were at the drive thru of a fast food restaurant. “Do you want anything to eat, Krystin?” to which I replied “No thanks, I’m full.”

*Que the dropping of the bricks*

I was full. And no, I do not mean the “had enough food to last me a few days” full.

What I am talking about is the “I am so crammed of worldly darkness that I do not really want anything else” kind of full.

I could tell myself all day that I wanted to learn and grow more in Christ but as long as I was allowing myself to become full of this world, I was never really going to grow or learn.

You see, I was so full of the world that I was getting to the point where I was just trying to add Jesus to my life.

I’ve been practicing addition when I should have been practicing submission.

Instead of allowing myself to be filled by the world and then adding Jesus into that, I should have been submitting myself to Him first and then allowing Him to decide what is okay to add in after that. I should have let myself first become full in His love, and grace, and Spirit. Only then would I truly learn and grow in my relationship with Christ.

Weeks of a dry season in my faith that could have been filled with such growth, learning, and loving on the Lord all could have been solved if I had just submitted my all to Him first.

Lord,

I thank you for your forgiveness towards me while I filled my cup with the world instead of with Your Spirit. Make me want You more than I want this world.  Make me sensitive to this idea of addition and eager to practice submission. Drain me of all the things I filled myself with before I was filled with you. I am so thankful for all the bricks you hit me on the head with. Oh so painful yet oh so grateful.

Because of Him,

Krystin Howard

“Submit to God, and you will have peace.” Job 22:21

Convicted

Woah, what an overwhelming weekend it has been!

I am physically, mentally, and emotionally drained. It has truly been a weekend of lots of bricks to the head. Just when I was feeling overwhelmed with the world and my crazy schedule, Christ continues to overwhelm me with His word, love, and grace. And so I would like to share some of the convictions that Christ has been tugging at my heart with in hopes that maybe all you busy, stressed out people need to hear it too.

After my crazy filled schedule this weekend and as ashamed as I am to say it, I was not hesitant to think about skipping Sunday School and just attending worship service in
order to get in an hour or so of extra sleep. But being the comical and jealous God that He is, He had a different plan. Just as the thought crossed my mind about skipping out on Sunday School, my roommate asked me if I would want to go with her. So clearly and very painfully feeling the ton of bricks that God just dropped on my head, I agreed to get up an hour earlier and go.

First moment of conviction: Christ sacrificed His life for me, I can sacrifice a few hours of sleep for Him.

And so the Sunday morning went on as it usually does. Got up, got ready, drove to church, sat in Sunday School, went to worship service.

And then boom, the tug at the heart was real.

In Sunday School, our teacher told a story about how he was speaking on stage in front of a rather large crowd one time. While he was in the middle of the most serious part of his sermon his little daughter walked on to the stage and whispered into his ear ” I just want to be with you, Dad.”

That’s when it hit me.

Second moment of conviction: how often do I draw near to my heavenly Father and say “I just want to be with you, Dad”? Not often. How often do I call upon His name, read His word, and dwell in His presence before my feet hit the floor every morning? Not often.

Already feeling convicted by this, we turned to John 15:16 where Christ says “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit…”. I daily fail at choosing to put Christ first and yet He continues to want, love, and show grace to me.

Boom, I was hit again.

Third moment of conviction: I constantly fail to choose Christ over all the other crazy things going on in my life. And yet, He chooses me to be a part of His plan. He chooses me to love and to show grace and mercy to.

God was on a roll this morning because even after Sunday School when we headed to service the worship leader started the song “Forever Reign” by Hillsong. The verse “oh, I’m running to your arms” had my heart longing for more of Christ when just a few hours ago, I wanted to stay in bed.

Fourth moment of conviction: When the world around me is crazy and stressful and I am tempted to come up with any excuse to not draw near to Christ, I need to run to His wide open arms. They are always there. They offer more to me than this world could ever offer.

Lord, I am forever grateful that You have placed me at a university that surrounds me with people who hold me accountable. I am thankful that even when I fail to chose You first, You still chose me and want me to be a part of bearing your fruit. Help me to lean on you in times of craziness and stress. Help me to block out the world and be more willing to “just want to be with you, Dad”. Thankful for your open arms and your heavy bricks. Amen.

Clearly, God was saving me a seat at church this morning. Message received, Dad.

Because of Him,

Krystin Howard

 

Home

home.jpeg “Let your roots go down into Him, and let our lives be built on Him. Then Your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.” Colossians 2:7

Wowzers. I am blessed. Samford University so graciously gave me six weeks of holiday break time and it could not have been anymore wonderful. I have spent every bit of my six weeks catching up with my crazy family, making unforgettable memories with my sweet friends, and enjoying long, overdue naps and Netflix marathons.

Being home for the past six weeks has made me realize, in more ways than one, just how much my home means to me. Sleeping down the hall from my three sisters (if we are not already all squeezed into the same bed) never grows old. Tossing back and forth ideas about politics, the world, and my Jesus with my pops never grows old. Getting the dreaded nose bites from my mom (apparently it is just too cute not to bite) never grows old. Spending probably too much time watching movie after movie while the whole family is spread out in the living room never grows old.

Unfortunately, it all has to come to an end…and that end is tomorrow.

Yes, I absolutely LOVE Samford and cannot wait to catch up with my Samford family and dive back into the college life. But nothing ever feels like home does and being home for six weeks has made it far too easy to get back into the “see my family everyday” lifestyle. But like I said, it is time to leave again. And as I start packing my bags and prepare for all the “see you laters” I cannot help but notice that the Lord is hitting me with a brick once again.

Home is wherever Christ calls me to be. Samford in snow.jpeg

Until now, home has always been where my family was. Home was where my family could teach me, love on me, and protect me. And for the past 19 years, I have felt all of that. But now, Christ has called me to the student life to continue being taught, loved, and protected by my new Samford family.

To those who have also been called to a new home this season, join me in praying this…

Challenge me, Lord. Mold me into the person you want me to become and use me to bring glory to You. Help me to be intentional in all of my relationships and to love people well. Remind me constantly of my need for your love and mercy and grace. Teach me to be the best student I can be because that is what You have called me to be in this season. Help me to see that my home is in You and bring more willingness into my heart so that I will follow where You lead. I cannot wait to be with You in my heavenly home and I am forever grateful for all the bricks you hit me on the head with.

Because of Him,

Krystin Howard

 

 

 

 

from the driveway

 

I am forever grateful for sisters who go along willingly with my crazy adventures.image1-2 copy

Saying “let’s go lay out in the driveway and look at the stars” doesn’t sound that crazy. Until you add the part about it being 19 degrees outside and 11:00 at night.

Luckily for me, my sister was feeling just as spontaneous as I was that night. So we bundled up in warm clothes, gathered all the blankets we could find, silenced our cell phones, and ventured out into the drive way.

At first, the cold did not frighten us. But 20 minutes later, it pierced its way through our layers and the sting of the cold was unbearable.Yes, we had a “hit with a brick” moment when the cold started creeping in. “Why on earth are we laying on the ground in the middle of the night in the freezing cold?” asked my sassy sis. But the heaviest “brick moment” came before our adventure was cut short. Twenty minutes of laying flat on the paved driveway looking straight up at nothing but the moon and the stars left me with a heavy brick on my heart: I am nothing, but because of my Christ I am something.

From the driveway it was evident that the darkness of the sky stretched beyond my sight. And that this darkness was pierced by the light of the moon and the stars. And that the moon and stars are so massive and perfectly created to constantly shine and never run out of star dust.

And yet who am I that Christ is mindful of me?

I am a sinner. Failing even at my strongest moments. Constantly struggling to stand up against a dark world.

I am nothing. But because of Christ, I am something.

I am a sinner–with a forgiving Savior. I fail even at my strongest moments– yet I’ve got a God whose strength doesn’t even compare to the strongest man on earth. I constantly struggle to stand against a dark world–but I have a God who carries me through the dark and into His light.

God has the power to make light and dark. The heavens and the earth. The moon and the stars. Every living creature on this earth. And He chose to create me.

If you don’t see that as a sign of love then catch this.

Not only did He create you and I when He could have created far greater things, He loved us so much that He sent His ONLY son, perfect and blameless, to die for YOU AND I.

That right there is enough to bring you to your knees.

So, I thank you God. For loving me enough to create me and save me. Forever grateful for all the bricks that You hit me with. Teach me to live with a constant awareness of my weakness and need of Your love and strength.

Seeking to be loved and humbled at the same time? Lay in the driveway.

Because of Him,

Krystin Howard

 

 

the waiting game

“though it’s painful, but patiently I will wait” – While I’m Waiting John Waller

I am going to start this post by telling you all that I am jumping out of my comfort zone by telling you what I am about to tell you…

Here it goes…

I recently went through a break up.

Yeah, this post might get a little awkward and I probably won’t share all the details about what went down but what I will tell you is that God was all over that break up. I will also tell you that when it first happened, I was not a happy girl. This was my first relationship that I had ever been in and I would have liked to think it was a solid one. The guy I had been dating was a Christian and truly had a heart for Christ. So it seemed like the perfect relationship and I honestly could have seen it going long term.

Obviously, God had other plans. At the time of the break up, there is no way on earth I would have been thanking God for ending that relationship. But now, I can clearly see that it was for my good and His glory. So many lessons learned and so many bricks to the head. Don’t get me wrong, the guy I was dating was great. However, a few months after the break up and after lots of tears, prayers, and conversations with some of God’s girls, I have learned that the Lord did not think he was the guy for me.

And so we start the waiting game. image1.jpeg

I of all people know that waiting for something can be miserable. But recently, I have realized that it is only horrible if you make the waiting horrible. Now that I am in my waiting period, I have had probably too much time to ponder and have come across several “hit with a ton of bricks” moments.

During my first “hit with a brick” moment I realized that God’s guy and I need to be showered in prayer. It took some bricks to the head for me to grasp that I will not be ready for God’s guy to show up if I am not constantly asking for the Lord to prepare me for that moment. And the same goes for God’s guy. I need to have a constant relationship with my Jesus before I can have a relationship with anyone else.

Secondly, I believe that it is perfectly okay to hold high standards for your guy. One time someone told me “Krystin, with your standards you’re sure to never find a guy.” I left that conversation feeling like I needed to lower them. But lately I have come to realize that if those are my standards then just imagine how high God’s standards are for my guy. With this in mind, you should always remember that no man is perfect and that neither are you. Looking for perfection in someone will get you no where. A relationship should rather look like two sinners seeking Jesus. In light of this, as long as your standards for a guy are pleasing to the Lord and follow along with what God’s word says, then I say keep them up.

And lastly, I am learning that silence is still a form of communication. While we wait we may not be hearing from God as clearly as we would like. But I am learning that maybe His silence is a time for me to be loud in my growth in Him. I, and maybe you, need to use this silence from Christ as an indicator to get out there and bring some glory to our Matchmaker.

b253f3223b9dd4df3d92ff6748d65c66.jpgWill waiting be easy? No. But I have such faith that His will for our waiting period is so much greater than what we think it to be. I haven’t met my guy yet, but I know that pursuing Christ while I’m stuck in the waiting game can only bring great things for my future. Join me in having that same faith.

Because of Him,

Krystin Howard

p.s. If you have not heard John Waller’s song, While I’m Waiting, you’re missing out. Such a great motivator while we wait. Here’s the link to it.

While I’m Waiting